Without having any access to their true self, they no longer have the resources to experience empathy, compassion, kindness, love and authenticity. He also needed to constantly make me feel like I needed him, rather than the truth being the absolute opposite. The short answer is no, the narcissist will not treat the new supply better as they are incapable of changing without intensive therapy (which we know aint gonna happen!). The world revolves around the narcissist or so they believe. The ego is a cruel master, which operates through greed, manipulation, scheming and coercion to feed its insatiable need to feel alive and important. When you see the narcissist with the new supply, it is easy to think of how you wanted THAT version of the narcissist all along and might be envious you didnt have it. I believe there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not to blame for the narcissist not changing. The best way to react to a narcissist's flaunting is to not react at all. For narcissists, appearances are everything. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. So, now youre watching on while the narcissist is flaunting their new supply and you wonder, Will the narcissist change for the new supply?, Is the narcissist treating the new supply better?. They may try to control the other person by lashing out in anger. They lost everything because even in the things you didnt have, they still had more to offer than they did now. During the absence of regular Narcissistic Supply, a narcissist will frequently experience brief, decompensatory psychotic episodes. This is part of Mindset Therapys series on how relationships with narcissists change. The idea that, Ive been a good person, surely I deserve some good karma now, just isnt how the universal laws work.Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-portrait-2-0-asloaded{max-width:250px!important;max-height:250px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-portrait-2','ezslot_21',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-portrait-2-0'); Quantum law says, as within, so without.. The thrill of the chase and catching their prey makes a narcissist feel extremely important and powerful. This is when the narcissists new supply may be a complete downgrade, but as long as they get their drug, they really dont care. Telepsychology is an effective method of delivering mental health services in Texas and Washington for Mindset Therapy. Ultimately, they were (and still are) only left with their Ego, which quickly created a False Self in order to survive and get ahead in the world. Seeing Through the Narcissist's Mask Ascending to a Higher Vibration. When a narcissist is low on their drug, you will see the resentment and anger start to ooze out of their pores, as they scramble to find someone to extract it from. New people always came first and were more important to him than anyone else. They believe that they are superior to you, me and everyone else, therefore they deserve to be worshipped. Its the thing that offers them a temporary relief from their intense inner turmoil, which they are forced to feel unless they get another hit of narcissistic supply. Here are some tips on how to react when a narcissist flaunts their new supply: 1. Narcissists grandiose self-esteem and desire for admiration frequently contribute to their grandiose self-esteem. Remember, without authenticity, empathy and kindness at hand, theyre merely relying on data to pull off a successful Love Bomb. [8 Ways] How to Make a Narcissist Respect You, 20+ Tips & Things to Expect When Separating From a Narcissist. The rageful outbursts and passive aggressive remarks, the put-downs and silent treatment, all designed to punish the new supply for things theyre sure theyve never done. By tomorrow, you will have grown two inches. Letter From a Narcissist [Behind the Mask]. So happy for you guys,' wrote one fan, while another replied: 'Congrats to the both of you!!!! Youll have work to do to fix things.. The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network. There may be obstacles to overcome, but the consequences are manageable; however, it is something that people have control over. Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0-asloaded{max-width:250px!important;max-height:250px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_15',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0');Many narcissists hate having partners who are successful in their career, because it means the narcissist will not appear to be the best. While the length of time that a narcissists new supply lasts can vary, it is typically not very long before they move on to someone else. But unfortunately, he hasnt. Receiving attention and admiration, for example, helps to boost a persons self-esteem and reduce the likelihood of them lacking self-esteem. That is it. Again happiness with a narcissist is short-lived because inside, they are deeply unhappy souls. Gaslighting Is Invalidating But Invalidation Is Not Gaslighting. At Mindset Therapy we provide mental health services in Texas and Washington from trained professionals, via telepsychology, which allows you to attend the appointment from the location most convenient for you. Narcissists will use this constant criticism to break free from a relationship when they become dissatisfied. The narcissist has no incentive to change for the new supply, just as they had no incentive to change with you. However, seeing how quickly he replaced me after professing his undying love to me just weeks prior was the proof my brain needed to finally accept that hes a pathological liar. You can talk about it all you want, but until you actually remove the trauma from your body and consciousness, youll remain stuck in that old paradigm forever. Once the phone or wallet is broken, you toss it out and get a new one. Thats how strongly I feel. As a result of recalling their past self, you will lose the outgoingness that they showed you. http. People who are narcissistic must motivate themselves with the help of others in order to maintain grandiosity and superiority. To truly understand why the narcs new supply will never get a better version of the narcissist, its important to understand the nature of the disorder. ET. 342 Is there a way to tell if the narcissist is just settling with their new supply and would rather be with you? When the narcissist met you, they put on the same mask. It might be months or years down the line that they might try and "hover" you. I know it may appear that the narc is putting in more effort to make the new supply feel special compared to what they did with you and that can feel like a total rejection. This manipulates us into becoming emotionally attached and feeling a sense of dependence and loyalty towards the narcissist. It could have been any number of things, from stubbing their toe and immediately projecting their trash outside of themselves, to something more significant. What Do Narcissists Do During the Love Bombing Phase. Your email address will not be published. And soon enough the new source will be discarded and the narcissist will be off idealizing some other unsuspecting victim. Something will be said or done, which will cause a narcissistic injury and the narcissist will begin to devalue the new supply.Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-2-0-asloaded{max-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-2','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-leader-2-0'); And once again, they will not be satisfied. Now that the supply chain has been streamlined, blame will fall on the new supply. shares Dealing with the ups and downs of a narcissist is no easy feat. In reality, you are mourning the illusion of who you thought the narcissist was. Sometimes, we like to keep those things on a shelf in the cupboard, just in case the new one doesnt work as well as wed hoped. Of course, they will do anything to avoid feeling those things, so hunting out supply is their only priority and goal in life. So, of course, a huge trigger (deep wound) for her would have been insecurities around her partner abandoning her for his ex. 1. But ultimately, we are always looking to replace the old, used item with a new and exciting one. Its equally mind-blowing and soul crushing. In this article we are going to guide you through the typical dynamics of the beginning stages of narcissistic relationships so that you can grasp a comprehensive understanding of the reason that narcissists look happy with their new supply. The narc will project their own inner wounds onto the other person, which will result in blame shifting, gaslighting and invalidating the new supply just like they did to you. Not knowing if I was going to have to see the new supply when I dropped the kids off and knowing that shed be with my ex every time he picked them up was highly triggering for me. The egos fodder is attention in all of its forms, which validates that it is truly as special and superior as it believes it is. All of the awful things that you experienced at the hands of the narc and could never make sense of thats all about to unfold. Generally speaking, narcissists look happy with their new supply because they are in the idealization phase. There is no universal answer to this question, as it depends on a variety of factors specific to each situation. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Your email address will not be published. Its that very false image that keeps them standing and able to function in a world that they feel is against them. If you resist the narcissist and they can manipulate you into going along with them, theyve won and their ego gets fed. If they can manipulate you into crossing your own boundaries for them, again they gain supply from being able to control you. I remember one day when he was collecting the kids, he turned back and looked at me with pity, then grinned and walked off. Everything is a chance for them to prove that they are superior. This includes being able to successfully control and bend others to their will. When the love bombing ends is up to the narcissist and no one else. If you look through your social media posts with your ex-narcissist then you can find many pictures of you two being happy. Apr 10, 2021, 7:00 PM Whether it was your choice or the narcissist's, you have found that the relationship with the narcissist is over, and you are no longer in the toxic relationship that had emotional abuse with lying, manipulation, and maybe even cheating. Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0-asloaded{max-width:728px!important;max-height:90px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_8',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0');They will use all the data they collected from you, plus bundle it together with what they learn about the new supply and apply it all throughout their manipulations. Do Narcissists Care About the New Supply? Privacy Policy They will not hesitate to discard someone once they cease to worship the narc like the God they delusionally think they are. This is really where you get to witness that that person truly never was the person you thought they were. This could be in the form of arguments, to get you so wrapped up in what theyve said and done that you cant focus on anything else. What has happened now that youre no longer responsible? Thank the supply Gods! What it actually means is that they LOVE the super supply rush that theyre getting from flaunting the new supply. However, the probability of it happening is slim to none. ! Maybe you feel that theyre not as attractive or intelligent as you, or perhaps theyre not as successful in their career or it doesnt look like theyve got much to offer. Required fields are marked *. Lets be honest the narcissist is totally LOVING showing off their new supply and they seem to be incredibly happy, right? Your email address will not be published. The idealization phase is a stage in the beginning of a narcissistic relationship where the narcissist puts on a charming and attractive facade to win the trust and admiration of the person that they are abusing. You were a one-of-a-kind supply and they havent been able to find it anywhere since, and how could they be? But please understand this, its not that the narc is trying harder with them, its that theyre manipulating harder with them. 12 Narcissist Discard Signs & Why They Do It. https://youtu.be/aKNrsVEOwGsPut yourself first. Narcissists show off their new supply to get as much narcissistic supply as they can from others, to devalue, degrade, and invalidate their old supply, and because they are love bombing their new supply to make them feel special and unique. During this phase, they shower the new supply with love, attention, and affection, which can make it seem like they are truly happy, but this initial happiness is often superficial and short-lived. They can sense when youre weakening and need to be replaced. During therapy sessions, you may find solace and perspective. They risk being outshone by their partner, which they cannot stand. They will start to see the narcissist as their soulmate, someone who understands them on a deeper level and can fulfill all their needs and desires. I genuinely felt sorry for the poor girl. They ensure their supply is refilled by treating this new person as if they are special, because that is what draws them in. Does the Narcissist Love the New Supply? However, when I started pouring my everything into building a career and making my own money, he constantly devalued me. My word is ex-partner because your ex-narcissist is seemingly in a happy relationship with their new supply. They are no longer connected to the light. The ego is now on a rampage to keep that False Self in the front and centre at all times. Then something happens, which triggers the narcissist and the bubble bursts. Its all about supply and the fact is, as the narcissist devalues you and destroys your sense of self over time, you will become more and more depleted. Will narcissists return to their old ways? Narcissists, like Narcissus, only love themselves, as seen through the eyes of other people. You were no different. It is about how relationships with narcissists change. They do not have an emotional bond because they do not have any. The narcissist wanted to present this image of you two being perfect for each other and this is what your ex-narcissist is now doing with their new partner. You were just aimlessly scrolling down your Facebook feed and then you stumble upon photos of your Ex-Narcissist looking so happy and glamorous with their new supply. What Happens When You Send a Narcissist to Jail? Author, "Happy-Go-Lucky" If I'm not mistaken, my seventh-grade teacher showed us the movie of "The Lottery" before having us read it, which is unfortunate. Have a read of The Narcissists Prayer below. Because hed found a new supply, so he didnt need me anymore. Copyright 2020 mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org. unmaskthenarc@gmail.com, [ COPYRIGHT 2023 - UNMASKING THE NARC - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ] Chic Lite | Developed By. As you can imagine, he totally lost control because he did not have any other supply lined up. First things first, this doesnt mean that the narc loves the new supply. It had me rerunning the past two decades in my head, trying to figure out what else hed lied about along the way. Of course, there are times where a narcissist will try to gain the sympathy of others by presenting themselves as sad and depressed. The narc probably does truly think theyve found the perfect one as in the ideal form of supply to feed and serve them. They need to learn to take care of themselves. You can only fill the tank so much at one time. Isnt it incredible just how quickly a narc can literally swap you out for someone else without ever batting an eyelid. The Concept of Narcissistic Supply Pleasing a narcissist is thankless, like filling a bottomless pit. narcissistic traits know they are getting older and do not want to . Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. If you react, you are giving them the power and control they crave. No, they are not happy. To adapt to living in the narcissists cold world, they must adapt to their emotional abandonment. However, it can be quite a shock if you believe that the narcissists new supply is a downgrade, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible. What to Expect When the Narcissist Leaves You Alone (Finally! The narcissist once love bombed and idealized you the same way they are love bombing and idealizing the new supply. https://img.mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org/do_not_be_jealous_of_narcissist_new_supply.jpg, https://www.mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/logo.png, Why Feeling Jealous Of The Narcissist's New Supply Is Pointless. So, when a narcissist says, I love you, thats not actually what they mean. While the narcissists new supply downgrade may have you feeling even worse as you think, they left me for them? I also despised that my narc husband always held it over me that he earned the money, not me. Be honest with the narcissist and tell them that you do not have a good relationship and wish them the best. They are endlessly chasing something they will never find. When a narcissist has a new supply, its only natural to feel jealous. While you know the narcissist was abusive and only cared about themself, as you look at the pictures posted on social media, you begin to wonder if the narcissist has changed and is finally treating someone better than they treated you. It is common for them to excessively praise and flatter their new partner in front of others, to reinforce the perception that they are truly happy. Disregard for the feelings and needs of others. He has simply found a new source of narcissistic supply and is putting her through the idealization phase. Hug your inner child and let them know that youre here with them now and youre not going anywhere ever again! When your whole world is focussed on the narc, youre nervous system is fried as you walk on eggshells, trying not to set them off. An inherent part of their personality disorder means that they are incapable of self-reflection. The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user. So, if narcissists are so focused on being with people who make them look good in terms of appearances, success, status etc., why would the narcissists new supply be a downgrade? New people always rocked his world. -. What to Expect When the Narcissist Leaves You Alone (Finally! In the narcissists case, there is no incentive to change for the new supply, just as there was for you. With that, they ultimately cut off their own access to life force energy, which was via their True Self. At Mindset Therapy we provide mental health services in Texas and Washington from trained professionals, via telepsychology, which allows you to attend the appointment from the location most convenient for you. Ignoring a Narcissist - 9 Things That Happen! Its very common for narcissists to overlap their relationships, because they like to make sure the new supply is secured before discarding the last. The narcissists new supply downgrade may just be a product of them seeking to collect another source of supply for their shelf of trophies. Narcissists need to be ADORED.They dont care who from, as long as theyre getting ATTENTION. They absolutely despised the part of themselves that made them feel those things, so they discarded it. You might feel tears well up when you: feel frustrated and need a little help and support . Blog During this phase, narcissists shower the person that they are abusing with love, attention, and affection. Self care is not just a bonus add-on if youve got time at the end of the day its imperative to your well being.Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0-asloaded{max-width:300px!important;max-height:250px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_2',122,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The most important thing you can do for yourself from here on in is to meet your inner wounds, love them and release them from your body for good. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. Controlling the narrative: Narcissists may carefully curate what information they share with others about their relationship, emphasizing the positive and happy aspects while downplaying or hiding any negative ones. Actually removing my deep inner wounds has been the only way Ive found to fully heal from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse (yep, I was raised by a narcissist as well). He fears the imminent loss of the source and the damage to his own, fragile, mental balance. As you can see, the narcissists new supply is not someone that the narcissist loves or is happy with. Life force (supply) is now the drug in which narcissists are seeking on a never-ending basis. If youre a narcissist, you should have a clean break every now and then. Attention for feeding the ego comes through: But of course, narcissists arent just going to get this much needed attention all by themselves. The only way they know how to feel okay is to have complete and utter control of their outer world. The narcissist just cannot risk having no supply on hand, so they will want you back while theyre busy seeking out someone else. They will often go to great lengths to convince others that they are happy and satisfied with their lives. The trauma that can come up with this issue is deep! So, I started working regularly with a spiritual medium, who was able to tap into the root causes behind everything. Well, the thing is, narcissists dont think the way we do. The only things the narcissist may become better at are manipulating and lying. There are other people who love the new person less than you do because they cant be in love with you because they cannot be in love with you. The day the narcissists new supply enters your awareness is the day you finally have to admit to yourself that they never truly cared about you at all. Sure, its filled with fancy dinners, nights away and romantic walks along the beach (purely staged just so the narc can update their insta). This answer is simple. Youll know that the new supply is going to go through the same cycles of abuse that you went through. After all, they are getting attention and admiration that you feel you deserve. You are starting to feel better and moving forward in your life. They do this because they have run out of attention. Narcissists are always on the lookout for new sources of admiration and adoration, as they quickly tire of those who they perceive as worshiping them. They do this by subjecting them to something called the idealization phase. Just dont let it be you again. Well, that was all well and good until the second time my kids had met the woman, she was already sleeping in the bed their Mum had been in just two months prior. It's the kind of recognition and admiration that comes from people you don't know very well or at all - the adoring fans of the narcissist. A few of these people had increased narcissism to levels comparable to their ages, while others did not. When a narcissists relationship falls apart, he may feel abandoned, humiliated, and invaded. The typical narcissist break up usually ends with them starting a relationship with the new supply. That way we can resort back to using the old one if need be. This post contains affiliate links, for more information, see our disclosures here. There will be no " Barbie" world in Vietnam this summer. If you do go back, they will cruelly discard you as punishment for daring to leave them. Pokmon cards are an example of a narcissistic trade. Unfortunately, many of these opportunities go begging. The narc doesnt deem the new person to be a good enough supply after all, so they discard the person. When a narcissist has a new source of supply, they want everyone to know about it because they are on top of the world. . It is entirely dependent on how much and how easily they can get their hands on the product. A narcissist will never be able to be in love with their new partner until they do. No longer does the narcissist have the ability (or desire) to feel empathy, compassion, kindness, authenticity and love. If you think the narcissists new supply will be getting the benefit of all your hard work in the relationship, you are wrong. And I know Im not alone in wondering does the narcissist treat the new supply better than they did me?Advertisements@media(min-width:0px){#div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-medrectangle-3-0-asloaded{max-width:580px!important;max-height:400px!important;}}if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'unmaskingthenarc_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',101,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-medrectangle-3-0'); Being discarded by a narcissist (even if you left them) and immediately replaced is a devastating experience to have to endure.