We still see one another two to three times a week. Thanks for your question and comment. This experience is not a reflection of who you are, and Im so proud of you for acknowledging that. Our communication havent been the best and she tends to shut off completely when something serious comes up, which I can understand. Thank you for taking the time to seek out advice from us and for reading My Girlfriend Wants to Take A Break: What Do I Do? We spent a lovely time together and went to travel 5-6 countries together. Were on a break for a month, with no physical contact for a week. What can I do to show her that the grass is not always greener on the other side? "Ive stayed in contact with a few people from that post. Through this lens, you being told youre too much is as much a political issue as it is a personal issue. Please take care and know I am sending you my very best. When she came back she said she wants to talk to me and shes stressed i understood what shes gonna talk about as there were no emotions at all. I am directionless and wonder what sort of methods / things I should do to mend our relationship. Just a quick question about the movies in the resource list- can you share the names of them? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Hey, my girlfriend and I were talking during practice and she said I feel like I need to better my grades before we get back together then she said Im sorry! then we hugged. To give her a reason everyday, to keep me in her life as we spending to fully know each other, how we can do things differently, and being able to see where this journey takes us and hope for a better story so we can spend our future creating new memories again. So the first instinct is to react, and our reactions are always about trying to convince that person that theyre making a bad decision. We want to share with you the truth about what we think turns women off so, you dont make the same mistake with your partner. If I was dating someone who was constantly complaining over every little thing, I would be annoyed too. Lets be honest with ourselves for a moment, relationships and dating can be very confusing especially when you really like someone. No one is at fault. Youll grab her attention because of the fact that youve had this bond for this long, but now all of a sudden, youre changing your techniques, youre changing your notions, youre changing the whole way that you would usually approach the situation. Your email address will not be published. Peter Bregman May 17, 2018 Epoxydude/Getty Images Summary. Friday that week i went to meet her she saw me and didnt smile even once earlier when she used to meet me she used to hug me tightly but now everything was different and it was hurting me a lot. He will appreciate his time with you more and sing your praises to his friends. I really love this.. Does this mean she needs more time or she moved on from me? I asked her if should still attend her graduating regarding us taking a break, she told it would be nice if still go because itll show the appreciation for how much I love her dearly as well as valuing the things weve done each other. Its getting close to a year now. I guess I dont understand how 1 minute its ok and then the next its not. Best, Recently I was a topic of conversation by family members all telling tales of how in one way or another how my life and myself had always been too much I pondered thoughtfully and researched what they had said thinking it was me.. then I realized it had nothing to do with me but the insecurities and passionless lives of people who were content to just be. I need your help cos Im finding it hard to cope. Yes, it can be difficult when a partner is insecure, but what matters is that you are realizing that you have to make changes in order to grow personally and in this relationship. She moved to St. Croix uvi approximately 4 months ago. 2 days later she sent me a message on WhatsApp saying Ive taken these 2 Days to reflect and what I need to express was. Because a bunch of strangers were saying 'Don't do this to yourself', it kind of this is the worst way of wording it but it made me have the balls to just like, end it. She bails on you more frequently than she actually shows up. If you would like additional support right now and you live in California or Florida, please feel free to reach out to me directly to explore therapy together. Good Luck with everything! Hi! I love with everything in me & she has a really hard time showing her love. Is it over or is there hope? The relationships shes been in were all very controlling and even the last one was very abusive , she has gone back to that guy a few times in the past after break ups it is now been three months since she has put a restraining order on him and they have been broken up this is the longest that she has gone with a break up with him and feels she has moved on but not completely over that relationship I agree with her that it will take time for her to fully be over him to where she can fall in love let alone with me. Thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break. Me and my partner have been together 3 and a half years .. it has been very bumpy I am a insecure man and always turning her off with my jealously.. a week ago I went out, got drunk ..then kissed another girl I felt so shit I then realised I was the one who was wrong the whole relationship. That its the problem is not him but the issue, and what he thought I needed vs what I actually needed was misaligned. We have tried and tried to do things better, set boundaries but nothing is working. My girl friend told me that she need a break in the relationship am really disturbed and i ave asked her the reason why she need a break in the relationship, she said she need time to put things inorder wouldnt minding the fact that the opinion she is taken will hurt me.so i ave decided to give her the space she needed by not calling or texting her, i hope i took the right decision? Or some people also keep complaining just due to their behavioral nature. So Ive been dating this girl for around 10 months and Im so in love with her now she says she needs a break and we should use this time to find our selves.. She said I was to possessive and she feels smothered. tell me what should I do can I mirror her action or call her to talk clearly about our relationship or waited for her next call? Her Birthday is on the 15 of this month and we have been preparing on her to celebrate it . I understood i must work on improving my confidence and becoming more independant. This is what is going to spark her interest and her curiosity. -Apollonia, Hi Apollonia, You don't like how he acts, which is the same thing - he's not going to change! In December we met and we discussed about my insecurities as i used to get worried sometimes because she never used to talk about marriage and stuff But in December we sorted out everything and in the third week she left for Australia to meet her brother as she was meeting him after 2 years. Hi! The pair moved in together after eight months of being in an offic, Ive existed in states of bi my entire life, always straddling the line between two different identities. She left that night and says Reddit stopped her going back. I was still feeling the effects of anesthesia and begged my co-counsel to make the decision and that I trusted her. But she replied saying that she is finding it too difficult for the both of us to continue the journey together in the future. I love hearing from you so I welcome your comments below. Part of the answer could be the natural process of pulling away that all children must do as they grow into their independence. Cost of living - latest updates: Supermarket to 'lovebomb' She was aware of why my divorce wasnt final the whole time. Apollonia. I still feel very strongly for her and am worried that were talking today and may break up. Hello there, Me and my girlfriend met each other since November 2019, Everything was perfect until March. We really had a good thing going. Then when he starts to realize he might be wrong he starts to shift blame and somehow Im partially or fully responsible. I asked her about coming down over new years and she stated she didnt know. I would really encourage you to book a private coaching session and look into interdependent relationships, codependency, and an abundant mindset (instead of a lack or scarcity mindset). Go out there, have fun with friend, do things youve been wanting to do. That we can start talking again, taking the lessons that weve learned and to put whatever happened behind us and having a fresh start to continue where we left off in our relationship but do things differently this time as we slowly work things out to make everything better again. 981. Kumar. Apollonia, if I dont call her, or if I dont text her, shes going to forget about me, wont she? When a girl says a break for maybe a few weeks. And she said that she was upset because I previously rejected her marriage proposal because I felt like the proposal was made out of fear instead of true love. FrenchCusser* February 24, 2022 at 11:24 am I used to live with a nurse, and she had to do the 15-minute dump every day when she came home. After many insults, endless emergencies (whether they actually were or not), I finally scheduled a surgery just so I could have a block of time off. I was the baby and my parents adored me and spoiled me. She is baring my anger for a past 2 months now and she decided she cant take it anymore and she said she wants to break up with me. I would really suggest focusing on yourself and building the confidence in yourself, focusing on fulfilling your life right now. Both sitcoms and psychological research tell us that women are more likely to be nags than men. Ask him before If literally ALL else fails, she'll hang out with you. WebHow do I tell my girlfriend she complains too much? I would ask for you to book a coaching session with one of our coaches so we can see exactly why your girlfriend wanted to take a break and see if we can help you get her back. Apollonia, I am currently going through a similar situation but has more background in context. And I always have to tell him things over and over again. So you create an imbalance which creates something different and its kind of like electroshock! When theres dozens of people telling you how fucked up it is, its kind of hard to be like, 'Oh, well.'". And Id love to hear from you in the comments below about any additional resources that youve found or come across that have helped encourage you to step more into your muchness. Leave a message in the comments below so our community of blog readers can benefit from your wisdom. Youre so worth it. To overcome the feeling of regret is by letting go. so I read your articles. after that, I contacted with her. Every individual has to look out for themselves. ", Lauren posted on Reddit because "to my friends, his name is just like nails on a chalkboard." I hope you can book a coaching session with me due to my extremely limited time "Dump Him" Is Reddit's Relationship Advice This girl that Ive been dating for two weeks is really sensitive and private, she doesnt like to open up to people, shes having a hard time fitting me into her life, because she doesnt know where to put me, because she is a really busy person and she has bad family issues. Instead, what we are called upon to do is to acknowledge, own, and accept the parts of us we may have muted, gagged, bound, stifled and tucked deep down inside of us (or whatever flavor of coping you chose for fear of the consequences of being too much). What does it mean when your partner says you complain too much? I read this article a few weeks back when having trouble with my girlfriend and I just wanted to drop by and say a big thank you for all of the advice. She told me about how me not being able to tell her I love you have destroyed her many times. Apollonia. I noticed after a week or so( 3weeks back now) she wasnt initiating much anymore and lack of sex drive, we talked after she asked to chat, i expected a full breakup but she asked for a break for while, she has a daughter and mental health issues. She said i am her stress and i give her stress hence she thinks its not a healthy relationship. I dont understand because she is aware it could take a little longer. Shell say she will try to, but I can see that she isnt really changing. After 20 missed calls, Carl finally answered the phone. Its not a game. And Hi apollonia Thats how they stay, and thats how they stick. I told her how we should take this slow and let it take some time. My girlfriend and I are both Christian, she has been longer than I have. And I would really encourage you to take this time to focus back on yourself. I know it sounds horrible, and it sounds really hard to grasp right now if this is what youre going through, but nobody intentionally does anything to you. We are not seeing other people as in dates or romantic relationships or casual encounters, we are still loyal to each other. Because of this, I actually initiated a cooling off period for a year so that we can understand our priorities moving forward and whether we are suited to be together. She says she wants to know if shes ok to be alone so wants a break but doesnt want to break up yet. I delete the messages, as Ive noticed she checks if Im on line, ETC. Often what is wanted is for us to bend over, take it, and shut up,! Cookie Notice We use to stay connected every minute over phone call or text message or video call. I wish you the best. I was working on being a successful independent masculine man to attract the female for me, only having had a few short relationships. Thank you, is all i can say, you mended a broken heart in the process of shattering.. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/, Hi.. So sorry to hear this, relationships can be hard and thats why we are here to help. is also crucial to making your relationship work. I am struggling a bit.. And what I mean by programmed to do is that we react emotionally. As a woman and a wonderful wife, I understand everything there is to know about women when it comes to relationship matters, and I enjoy helping men, Read More The 5 Warning Signs Of Trauma BondingContinue, Todays topic is a power-packed piece of content because Im not alone and this is one-of-a-kind. So you see how you get the sense of pride and control back in this whole phase. She starts to wonder, it creates a mystery, she starts to get intrigued, she wants to know. Best, But the fight started on Friday when she went to a guys house with her roommate and 3 others guys that she didnt know. She is very stubborn woman and can stay without me even if she has love. I am going into depression day by day. Im 100% with you here. Ill Complaining too much can leave you feeling both physically and mentally exhausted at the end of the day. I told her I did want to move there but I could not give her a time line. You may have a controlling girlfriend and thats why you are feeling this way. We usually see each other at least for a little bit everyday. His response and coping mechanism is to first tell me he didnt actually do anything wrong, hes not an asshole, and overall how I feel is up for debate. I would say that you guys need space and to actually take it. I learned on my last job what workplace abuse looks, feels, smells, and tastes like. But she wont open up a d talk and I have tried to ask her questions but dont want to make her talk. Focus on your life and what you want out of it. But dont engage otherwise. We use to spend all the talking to each other. Do not let her treat you like this and if so just do not give her attention. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/, Apollonia carefully crafted her products that address a multitude of subjects which you may find helpful as well: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/products/. And I love it. Now i have few things to share with you. Apollonia. Today being the second day of no contact this afternoon at about 5 oclock I looked at her story on Instagram and commented on one of her videos with a funny GIF she liked the GIF comment but never said anything to me. Hi, Christina. ), But when we steep and surround ourselves with supports that actually encourage us to be more of who we are, resources that call out and nurture all those disowned and rejected parts of ourselves, when we keep company with those who are not intimidated by our bigness, loudness, boldness, intelligence, ambition, hungers, etc., we give ourselves the nurturing and permission we may need to reclaim our muchness.. We always were like best friends and had a deep connection. And certainly, all of us growing up as a woman in this world received some version of these messages from society as a collective. You can have full control! She has decided she wants to take a break with our relationship for a little bit, I read your article and im going to try to wait it out and do things for myself, she wants to keep in touch thats the thing. What should I do? Yet, he easily gets me upset now and tells me Im mad all the time. Only eight Redditors responded to Rachel some asked for more information about her relationship, others left gentle questions for Rachel to ask herself, one went with the short and not-so-sweet: "You break up now or you break up later." But I need you to understand that this is our future we are talking about here and if one of us for some reason believes its not going to work, then its better we let go now that we can Emmy.